The Journey Back To Myself
It’s kinda funny. I always envisioned myself as the woman I am today, yet I wasn’t sure how to become her back in 2007 when this journey began. I was getting out of a very toxic romantic relationship in 2007, which did not completely end until 2008. This was the beginning of my healing, but I didn’t know it yet. Yoga was my gateway to my self-healing journey.
I was working out at the YMCA in Glendale and decided to try a yoga class. I stumbled into yoga class to relieve stress and to find a form of exercise that I could enjoy. I was quite intimidated walking into class since everyone knew what to do and what all the unfamiliar words meant. I was nervous, but I knew I had to begin somewhere. Yoga quickly became part of my life. I was going to Mona’s all-levels Kundalini class two to three times a week. She was gentle and calm; exactly the kind of teacher I needed.
Prior to beginning yoga, I had already dabbled in Eastern Philosophy study. The physical practice just added another layer to something I was already quite interested in. I liked the philosophy part of yoga just as much as the asana. As I practiced with Mona, I envisioned myself one day teaching yoga to others. I knew at that moment; yoga was going to play an important role in my life.
In 2010, I met an amazing, caring, patient, and funny guy from the East Coast who practiced yoga as well. We had many things in common when it came to outlook on life, religion, and philosophy. We married in 2011 and in 2013, we were ready to start our family. We got pregnant fairly quickly, and within my first trimester, I miscarried and we were absolutely devastated. I became severely depressed and started to drink a lot. I became a very angry person. I didn’t understand why this happened to me. I was in my early 30s, I was healthy, I didn’t smoke, and I took care of myself. Yet, I would see women not taking care of themselves get pregnant like bunnies.
After my miscarriage, I was determined to do all that I could to prepare my mind and body for a healthy, full-term pregnancy. On this part of my healing journey, yoga became an even more important aspect of my health and wellness. My yoga mat was a place where I didn’t have to be anybody to anyone. I could just be me. I could put down whatever I was dealing with for 95-minutes and my brain could quiet down just for a little while. In 2016, I finally decided to embark on a 200-hour yoga teacher training with Yoga Works lead Instructor Thomas Taubman and Sean Gray assisting. Ever since that seed was planted back in 2007, I had wanted to complete a yoga teacher training.
I always insisted I would complete one after we got married and had a baby, but no baby was coming. I decided to stop playing small and to start living my dreams; I put me first and paid for the tuition in full. Not long after completing my life-changing yoga teacher training program, our family grew, but not by a baby. In July 2016, we rescued the sweetest Rat Terrier-Chihuahua mix and we named her Bettie.
In 2017, I resigned from my stressful position as an elementary Special Education teacher to teach yoga full-time. This choice has led to so many amazing opportunities for my own personal growth and healing. I was just beginning to tap into the self-healer in me when I was called to learn even more healing modalities such as Reiki, EFT, Yin yoga, breathwork, and meditation. In 2019, I became certified in Trauma Sensitive Yoga since I, myself, am a sexual abuse survivor. During the shut-down in March 2020, I began experiencing intense flashbacks to my sexual abuse which has been classified as post-traumatic stress disorder along with a previous diagnosis of anxiety disorder.
I am committed to serving the populations that are close to my heart. The populations that I can relate to most are due to my lived experiences. I found my purpose by accident. I was hoping to be of service to a family member and in turn, I found another path to my own healing. Healing is not linear. It’s not a one and done kind of thing. The healing process is like a spiral where you’ll uncover a trauma and move away from it and then circle back to it to find something else; another deeper layer, another purpose, another lesson to learn from the events that have taken place in our lives. During this healing process, we find out valuable information about ourselves and we learn from these experiences. These traumas were not our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal from them and grow. Then, hopefully share those experiences with others who may be in similar situations to give them hope.
My mission is to help women find their healing path using different modalities (yoga, breath-work, meditation, Reiki, EFT, journaling). My tribe are women who have endured sexual abuse, trauma, and addiction. I want to help them to find wholeness in their bodies; to take back ownership of their bodies and their space, and to learn how to create safe boundaries for themselves. I want to help women to learn how to trust their instincts and their inner wisdom. Ultimately, to embrace their own power and stand in it.
I am so happy you are starting your own healing journey! I can't wait to share this experience with you!