• KC Fitzgerald

Here's How I Learned to Stop Beating Myself Up and Here's How You Can Too

Updated: Jan 20, 2019

"I should've done that!" "I can't believe I did that!?" "That was stupid!" Do you find yourself saying these things to yourselves? The constant criticism and the voice telling you that it wasn't good enough? Pfffff, who needs that, right? But we do it anyway.

I've spent a lot of time unlearning behaviors that I thought were "normal" over the past three years. I have learned that engaging in that kind of self-talk is not okay or healthy. But so many of us women beat ourselves up over the decisions we make or the things we didn't get accomplished.

I like having goals and tasks. . . and lists. Lists are very motivating to me, but they can also be overwhelming. I am very motivated to check things off my list to-do list, but there are days when nothing gets checked off and I start to head down my path of negative self-talk.

Instead of engaging in the negative self-talk, I've learned about a few tools to help me get out of that spiral.

#1 Writing. I pull out my journal and start writing. Maybe there's a good reason as to why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. Writing can help me get my thoughts and feelings out and I don't have to carry them around. I have all sorts of pretty journals to write in - something nice to look at usually motivates me to use it. All things shiny, pretty, and flowery. : )

Maybe you are an artist; do anything to get those creative juices flowing. Sculpting, painting, poetry, music, or dancing.

#2 Meditate. I sit and meditate for a few minutes. I light my incense, get my bolster and blankets to support my posture and I find a good meditation to listen to and focus on my breath. After meditation, the world sometimes looks different and my perspective has changed.

#3 Exercise. Exercise has been a great way for me to get out all the bottled up feelings and emotions. When we exercise, our brains release the feel good chemicals known as serotonin and dopamine that in turn boost our mood. Regular exercise is recommended to keep you happy. . . so, move it, move it!

#4 Listen to music. Music, what a lifesaver. Honestly, I don't know what I would do without music. Put on your favorite song, artist, or heck, even your favorite musical. You're bound to feel better and you may even get some exercise too depending on what you're listening to.

#5 I let it go. . . So what if I didn't get to all of the things on my To-Do list for the day, or the week. Whatever I didn't do, I will eventually get to. It's not going anywhere.

As women, we need to stop the negative self-talk. Taking care of ourselves emotionally and physically are so vitally important to our well-being. We all have responsibilities and they can sometimes feel overwhelming. It's important to take care of ourselves so we can accomplish those goals and take care of those responsibilities. If we aren't going to take care of ourselves, who is? You cannot pour from an empty cup.

Until next time, take care of yourselves, ladies. Namaste, KC


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